…and I get up again

I’ve had a crappy week.
     No real reason, just a never ending sense of doom and failure creeping up in my periphs; you know, right by the ficus. {You’d better get that movie reference.} I’ve been toying with the idea of cleanses, workout routines, road trips, and other such life changing joys. Then I figured it out, but I’m gonna make you wait for it. 
     I am stuck on THIS blog right now. She’s absolutely awesome and I have to physically restrain myself from commenting on all the posts I read for fear of being slapped with a restraining order. [I’m reading ALL of them, like from inception to now, talk about procrastinating… but whatever.] Yesterday I read this post and I was floored. “You mean I’m not the only one? Someone else craves solitude so much they end up bowling people over to get it, then has to pick up all the disgruntled friends and apologise on the way back? Sweet beard of Jupiter!” I was excited, I am not alone.
     I have been feeling like I need to run away. I’ve had trouble taking deep breaths. I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of trying out a looooong distance realationship. “Would TBF love me if I lived in Iceland?” But then I did “the checklist” and I found out what I really need – a bath.
     I miss baths. Having a bath is more than a necessity for me, it’s a question of survival. Sinking below the bubbled and scented surface, (I live for Lush), and listening to my heart beat underwater. Drinking a glass of wine and listening to an audio book while eating a chocolate bar. Being alone, but only for a snapshot in time. This is all I need. Only – I don’t have a bath tub. Or rather, my bath tub is insufficient for the size of my ass [see above picture.] Tragedy.
     I’ve had friends and family tell me to come use their bath tubs often. But is this the same? Last time I took my parents up on the offer I got half way through the soak and had to yell at my brother through the door to “Go use dad’s toilet I’m in the BATH!” Not quite as ‘alone’ as I would like. Plus, how would you feel having to call a cab to drive you home smelling like ‘blue skies and fluffy white clouds’ because you’re over your limit due to that bottle of Shiraz you just consumed in your friends bath tub, alone. You get a few odd looks. However, things have reached a critical point. Something has to change, and folks, I need a bath.
     I finally came to this conclusion while mapping out the check list, I found out there are other things that I need as well so I mapped out a no-fail list of things I need to do next week, things I will do. It’s my ‘New Weeks Resolution’ and I will do them to ensure bliss from July 17th-23rd. Yes I will borrow someone’s bath, but I need to take some time for myself and just breathe so I can prolong the feeling of “it’s all okay, I’m alive, no panic, don’t run”. So, without further ado here you go, I will cross things off as I do them:
Notes to having an excellent week:
-Wake up just to watch the sunrise; take pictures as proof.
Hide the scale (one week isn’t going to kill me)
-Eat good things in every sense of the word☺☺☺
-Practice catching a pop fly; end on a good note.
-Do hair and make up every day☺☺☺
-Say nice things to myself while doing makeup – try not to laugh
Find a bath tub: Borrow it. Thanks GermanG
Finish one of the books I’m reading.
-Sing in the shower, or the van, or both ☺☺☺
Go to the movies Soul Surfer
Mow the lawn, Kill the weeds, Pick some roses for the house
-Write in ink every day ☺☺☺
-Throw something away
     If all this fails, (which it won’t), T-dog usually notices my moods and says something to this effect while walking past my office on the way to the photocopier. “Jess, you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!” It took me a while to realise he was referencing SNL, so then I fell into a spiral of shame.
Moi xoxo

One comment

  1. Pingback: Good (Mon)Day! | Progress and Procrastination

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