I was once in a really bad mood and I was in a bookstore. This is not the reason I was in a bad mood, I was in the bookstore trying to cheer myself up, and I came across a book called 14,000 Things to Make You Happy or something like that. It was a book of lists; lists that included words like “kittens”, “clean sheets”, “warm hugs”, “basset hounds”, and crap like that. Funnily enough it worked for me that day.
Today I am going to write out a list of things that make me mad. Just go with it, there’s a lot of hippies out there that preach love and joy, I’m just balancing it all out okay? Plus – it’s Monday! Gah!
- Emotional Diarrhea on Facebook: Are you really that immature that you need the world to know you’re happy/sad/angry/super angry/not mentally balanced every waking minute of the day? Posting something like “Why would you stick your abnormally large nose into other people’s business! You weren’t even there and don’t know what you’re talking about! (You know who you are)” Is just plain retarded, in my point of view.
- People Who Don’t Tip, When They Really Should: Do you realise that I am a 27 year old who is making minimum wage and I have just bent over backwards to make you a triple shot, non fat, two types of chocolate latte with no foam but a little bit of whipped cream that is not on the menu? Then I cleaned up after your three children who ran into the back and threw up and then I made them not too hot but still not cold hot chocolate with extra whipping cream and even found some sprinkles because your child was screaming at the top of her adorable lungs!? Maybe you should have left me the 12Cents of change before you drove off in your custom H3…biatch.
- Diesel Prices, and subsequently, The Government: Do I really need to rant about this one?
- Stupid People: See first and second entry. They are good enough examples already.
- Postal Strikes: Okay, I know that unions were probably a good idea a while ago so that we wouldn’t keep killing poor little canaries to make sure the air was non lethal and all, but seriously? You need to stop delivering my mail because you want more than a $24/hour starting wage to walk around in a bad uniform and negotiate the emotional trauma of a barking dog? You’re stupid, and now you’ve made me angry.
- Ingrown Toenails: There’s a really good storey about this one time, when I had toe surgery. But I’ll save it for later. Here’s a pic of my poor brother Iceman –
Okay, so I’ve really wound myself up now and am good and angry. It works! How do you feel?
In other news, TBF and I were discussing Halloween and I had a super idea! Why not go as Ren & Stimpy? I immediately called dibs on Stimpy, but TBF reminded me he won’t be here. He will be hunting with my dad and two brothers. Ya, great idea dad, take my boyfriend out ‘hunting’ with you and the boys. Just make sure he comes back whole ya hear? Maybe Iceman’s feet will fit into boot by that time… hehe
Okay so I’m fine. And Happy Monday everyone! I’m about to listen to eight hours of The Count of Monte Cristo. It’s really quite entertaining.